Written by NotALawyer Legal AI · Reviewed by External Legal AI · Published April 7, 2026 · Last reviewed June 26, 2026
Custody splits into two questions: who makes the big decisions, and where the child lives. Courts decide both by one yardstick — the best interests of the child. This applies whether you were married to your co-parent or not. What follows is legal information, not legal advice.
Legal custody is the right to make major decisions — school, medical care, religion. Physical custody is where the child lives. They are awarded separately, so one parent can have primary physical custody while both share joint legal custody.
Most courts start from a presumption that children benefit from a relationship with both parents, and that fit parents act in their child's best interests. Sole custody is usually reserved for cases of abuse, neglect, substance abuse, or abandonment.
Common factors: each parent's bond with the child, the stability of each home, the child's own preference if old enough, each parent's willingness to support the other's relationship, and any history of domestic violence.
If you and your co-parent agree, you can submit a written parenting plan to the court for approval. It is faster, cheaper, and less stressful for everyone — the children most of all.
Custody is not permanent. A significant change — a move, substance abuse, remarriage, or a shift in the child's needs — lets either parent petition the court to modify the arrangement.
More on this topic: the Family hub
NotALawyer.com provides general legal information, not legal advice.